it seems even though I said bye to my old friends that were no good, quitting smoking cigarettes, completely stopped arguing with my boyfriend, went from being spectacle with trusting him to completely trusting him which I don’t know how I did that because it’s very hard for me to fully trust someone but with him I trust him with all my heart. I know he would never hurt me. but what I’m saying is I’ve done a lot to quit being a bad person! not only have I quit but I actually feel happy. I’m not forcing myself to quit anything. I actually chose to quit all my bad habits and feel a weight lifted! I mean I smoked cigarette for the past 7 almost 8 years! and thought about quitting for over half a year in 2011 and never once tried but one day I woke up and said to myself so certain, that today’s the day I’m going to quit smoking! and guess what? it’s been 5 months since I smoked a cigarette and I feel healthy as a horse!! but in all the point is I’ve done everything in my power to better myself inside and out. and I feel like I could try harder. like I don’t feel perfect like I wanna be.. I understand no one is perfect but in the bible it says ” you shall be perfect like our father in heaven is perfect”
I just want to be myself at the same time but I just want to be a good person overall.
sometimes the bad gets the best of me and I hate it. I know in my heart I am good. I love everyone for who they are. I am not racist or sexist. I accept anyone for who they are! just sometimes some people make me mad just by the way the act or are.. and I tend to have bad thoughts like “she/he is dumb” or “I don’t like him/her” and then I catch myself during that thought and I think to myself “why do I think bad like this?! sorry god. forgive me”
sometimes the bad gets the best of me and I hate it. I know in my heart I am good. I love everyone for who they are. I am not racist or sexist. I accept anyone for who they are! just sometimes some people make me mad just by the way the act or are.. and I tend to have bad thoughts like “she/he is dumb” or “I don’t like him/her” and then I catch myself during that thought and I think to myself “why do I think bad like this?! sorry god. forgive me”
I know some of you reading this might think to yourself after reading that “wow. she’s weird/stupid” well you know what? I don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I’m not saying that in a negative way I just know some people don’t believe in god. but I do. in my eyes god is everywhere. he sees all the bad and the good. I know and understand not everyone believes in him but all you can do is nothing but except who they are and just pray that one day they realize that god is real and good. and follow in the path of the lord. I admit I am not fully christian yet but I am soon to be! once I find my inner self I shall change. I don’t know when but I hope soon. I may be only 21 but who’s to say a young 21-year-old girl can’t be a better person? doesn’t mean I have to give up anything. I am just growing up. I had my fun.. it’s time to grow up. it’s time for a change.
